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ginHigure

Bad day because...

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stood up for what I believed in.

disowned by my family.

gave only 5 hours to pack.

couch surfing for the past month.

at 3 different places...

things are bad now, but change needs to happen

even if it means I take the fall in order to get that ball rolling.

it's for the better good. I'm determined. I refuse to give up.

challenging the system will help not only my family, but others as well.

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I can't sleep and plus being forced up after a really peaceful nap about 3 hours ago is just amazingly refreshing of course : P not to mention having no one to talk too but I should be used to this so whatever

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i swear to god i HATE my school i got in trouble because i was wearing flip flops but it's okay for teachers to wear them...

you know what FUCK YOU im so sick of them telling us what we can wear and what we can't wear im can wear what the hell

i want.im not wearing so damn hot sneakers. -___- god it's about to get hot who the hell wants to wear some HOT SNEAKERS!!

 

i swear when i leave that school im gonna flip them off when i walk out the buliding at the end of the year.. -__- IM SO DONE WITH THIS STUPID FUCKING SCHOOL.

even if i don't pass the exam, im gonna be happy when i leave. IM.DONE.

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I found out that a former friend died in a car accident last night. The back-stabbing drama-whore group that we used to belong to is using her death as new reason why my boyfriend and I should break up. (Don't ask me to make sense out of their illogical thoughts because I don't have a clue.)

To top it off, I'm having serious deja vu from when my former best friend died in a car accident in 2003. *sigh* I mourned back then, but all the emotions came surging back today.

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bad day because I had to attend an open casket viewing. Then tomorrow is the funeral for that person and just no ; _ ;

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1458643_10202460064764273_1501897948_n.j

 

Today, I lost my best friend of sixteen years. A dog was my best friend. I rarely ever had anyone else, no one who understood me, wouldn’t judge me, no one who would come to cuddle if I needed it. I don’t care if I were offered a paw, instead of a hand. I even have his paw-prints tattooed on both my wrists since four years. We got him on Christmas' Eve, 1997; a buddy for life, I thought back then... Until he grew older. Recently he'd be very slow, couldn't get up or lay down, wetted the house, and since last night he stopped eating and drinking, started vomiting a lot, and he reeked of death, internal organs slowly failing. He was shaking, had spasms, was whining the entire time. The moment I heard it I took the day off and spent the rest of it with him, until 4PM where my Dad and I took him on his final drive towards the vet...

 

To have my best friend puff out his final breath in my arms was the most devastating experience in my life, to see his lifeless body convulsing with spasms of the aftermath after death, I’m not sure how to deal with it yet…

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A virtual hug for you, Rocketeer <3

 

I lost one of our dogs back in July. I certainly didn't have the same kind of relationship with him as you had with yours, but he was a treasured companion and I was the one taking care of him during his last two weeks. He got sick, some kind of a virus, but he was old and it wore him out too much. He basically gave up on life. We were the ones holding him back, feeding him and making him drink with a syringe since he refused to do either. I started sleeping in the living room so that I could keep an eye on him all the time, but I couldn't really fall asleep because of the constant fear of losing him. 

In the end, we decided to let him go. He obviously wanted to rest.

 

Oh well, brought back some memories... just know that everything will be okay, your buddy is getting the rest he deserves after looking after you for sixteen years :)

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My roommates car battery died and her car wouldnt start.

So I didn't go to my test on time. And of course because the State Board is full of fucking idiots I have to pay 110$ fee over again.

Because apparently I can just pull money out of my ass :/

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I'm so sorry to hear that Rocketeer. Pets can really have a healing power for people who are sad, and dogs don't judge on your personality, they just love you unconditionally.

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Messed up on my exam's last part and I'm scared that I won't have enough in total to be able to start the next semester. I really won't know what to do if I won't be able to... Too much here that makes me want to stay.

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I've been in this thread a lot it seems but anyway. (Got into that second semester. Fear was well grounded but I guess I got lucky)

 

Found something I felt really good with. First time in about six or seven years. Gets messed up because of things beyond control. Can't say I'm surprised, but that doesn't mean it hurts less.

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Bad day, or maybe a bad life, because of a non-supportive mother who thinks only about her own needs and doesn't understand I have mine own too. Why did she even give birth to me if she's neglecting me now? That's because I'm not a cute baby anymore. Being an adult sucks :(. You're still the same person as before, but everyone suddenly turns away from you...

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Had a horrible life and am used to horrible days, and facing them with a smile.

Through all the sadness, failure, embarassment, loneliness, lack of love, money, etc... I went through it all as myself, never changed who I was, I did it all as me, with a smile, and I never gave up.

Every bad day is just another challenge for me to make my bitch. I say bring it on.

The only thing now is to face the fact that the only thing I have to love is dieing, and to spend as much time with her as possible, to know we will be reborn together, and to live life with pride and accomplishment for her.

I tell all the bad things coming my way that they are going to have to kill me to stop me, because the headline reads, Tetora saves the world, Visual Kei forever.

Love me, hate me, no matter what.... U Cant See Me.

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Bad day, or maybe a bad life, because of a non-supportive mother who thinks only about her own needs and doesn't understand I have mine own too. Why did she even give birth to me if she's neglecting me now? That's because I'm not a cute baby anymore. Being an adult sucks :(. You're still the same person as before, but everyone suddenly turns away from you...

Never give up. Change this world.

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It's so easy to say, but everyone achieves something and I'm stuck at this place with no possibilities to change anything. Everyone would lose hope in my situation.

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Question: is it me, or are people in general dumb these days?

 

Today I have been confronted with people blatantly ignoring rules they know are there, people refusing to see both sides of a problem and sticking to a small negative point they heard months before (and which they are now able to prove if they just ignore the other side of the problem), and people just not even bothering and being damn disrespectful.

 

I've had enough for today.

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I fucking hate money, bills and loans. *cries herself into sleep*

 

Today starts the "money celibacy". After I have paid the FJ-shipping in few weeks, I won't buy anything from internet or any sweets and non-food. WHY THERE ISN'T ANYONE WHO WANTS TO OFFER ME A JOB.

 

Fucking shit...

 

/rant

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