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The Virginity Topic

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On 10/4/2019 at 5:18 PM, Zeus said:

I don't think there's anything to be gained from hook ups or one night stands.

 

Call me old fashioned if you want, but I don't necessarily look down on promiscuity. I know it's something that's not for me because sex without passion for the person whose guts I'm inhabiting is as pleasurable as burnt toast. Let's forget about the "cold pizza" analogy altogether. But I do believe there is something to the idea that you give a bit of yourself to someone when you have sex with them, and they give a part of themselves you in return. It is harmful to send emotions out and not have them reciprocated, especially during something as vulnerable act as sex. I've yet to meet a person who was promiscuous in their young age and doesn't regret it now, and I know quite a few people who have body counts over 100, 200, even 300. (body count = number of sexual partners) They all recommend not being promiscuous and describe the experience as short term pleasure but with a long term lack of satisfaction.

On the other hand, I'm not a total prude about it. I'm not into slut shaming. Sex before marriage is generally a good idea, because sexual compatibility and being able to coexist is important for a long term relationship. How you enjoy it is equally as irrelevant to me. I just suggest not rushing it, because your first sexual experience can effect how you approach it for the rest of your life.

 

I co-sign the hell out of this - tho I do differ from you on a few things that i'll touch on below.

 

I wholly agree that engaging in one night stands and whoredom in general benefits absolutely no one. Just as  @Zeus noted, everyone I know who's lived that lifestyle has regretted it as well. Hell, my body count is nowhere near the numbers you listed, but even I regret the "casual" sex I've had. Those were some of the most empty, soul-less experiences I've ever had and it served absolutely no (positive) purpose.

 

Unlike you, however, I am absolutely for slut-shaming. Doesn't matter if you're a male or a female -> Engaging in whoredom benefits no one and is destructive on many levels. But I think the emphasis should be put on the act - not the person. People can change. People can grow, so we should not condemn anyone for it - but the act itself should be condemned, because it's the act that is destructive and harmful. People might think I'm a prude for this, but I don't care. If you want a real-life case study for this - just look no further than the so-called African American "community". You'll get a firsthand look at what rampant whoredom does to a people. Hint: It's not fun. As someone who belongs to the so-called African American community, I've seen and experienced the pain, suffering, misery...the pervasive destruction that it causes firsthand. So you're damn right I don't support being a slut - male or female.

 

Personally, I don't believe in sexual compatibility or sexual experimentation either. I think these are ideas that place sex in a realm where it doesn't need to be. Cuz honestly, if you're with someone and yall are seriously committed to each other, yall can simply learn how to please each other and figure out what works for yall as you go. Likewise, with experimentation, I think it's a much better idea to experiment within the safety of a serious, committed relationship than to just experiment with different ppl just for the sake of it.

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15 hours ago, CAT5 said:

People might think I'm a prude for this, but I don't care. If you want a real-life case study for this - just look no further than the so-called African American "community". You'll get a firsthand look at what rampant whoredom does to a people. Hint: It's not fun. As someone who belongs to the so-called African American community, I've seen and experienced the pain, suffering, misery...the pervasive destruction that it causes firsthand.

but that's a symptom and not the root cause.

 

the het/repressed not-het anglo whites out there have their consecutive fifth marriage by the time they hit 50s with an obligatory Iwanna and/or Cumiko flewn in for power-tripped free sex on the reg with a side of pirogi/tempura, and they still whore like crazy, they just aren't OTT about it as the hood hoe type (who probably would have made better choices if the community and the whatever accessible entertainment they have available in general didn't promote the ease and the glamorized picture of sex-addicted life and didn't give free tools to live it all out. some people don't have the internalized demand for anything else?..

I'm not even saying about someone hypothetically living a financially independent life just by being smart about selling sex and being careful (and to a certain extent lucky) about the act.)

 

like fr I avoid sex and relationship threads on here, but I see a lot of problems with this victorian view of the coitus; the irresponsible sex was here for ages, I literally read an excerpt from a historical russian book just the other day mentioned someone shaming a peasant for bearing too many kids they couldn't feed, and their response was along the lines of "well I can't afford the classy fun the rich are into; the nights are long and we're just keeping ourselves warm that way" and like lbr we are not that different in terms of social stratas and classification compared to 200 years ago, we just learned to reflect on what's going on better now ("my twinflame fingered my sister are our karmic ties broken beyond repair now???????")

Edited by nekkichi

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11 hours ago, nekkichi said:

but that's a symptom and not the root cause.

 

like fr I avoid sex and relationship threads on here, but I see a lot of problems with this victorian view of the coitus; the irresponsible sex was here for ages, 

 

This can sum up everything posted in this thread to date. It's so evident that I can't understand why people tend to get entangled so much over anything else.

 

Suffering over sex or love matters happen over a wide range of politic, social, economic and psychic questions that transverse the life of each individual, just to reduce it to the mere desires or practices people have. 

 

 

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I thought I was into girls and extremely unlucky with relationships, and I was that kind of sad old virgin (asexual old virgin) everyone always mention when it comes to talking about poor singles. But then I lost my virginity with the man I love to the moon and back, I'm 27 and finally feel myself ready for this kind of relationships (like, I feel myself hungry and naughty all the time we meet!), so yes, virginity isn't a question of time, but question of your mental state... I feel a bit ashamed of being a virgin for too long, on the other hand I'm ashamed to lost my virginity before marriage, because I was raised like that... 

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