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What do you do when you're sad?

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I to be honest have no way of escaping other then sleeping 

And if that doesent work I sit and think as long as it takes before I go back to sleep

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I experience the same situation, and, it's honesty hard. I mostly keep myself occupied with music, and my special interests. Talking with friends about it may not make you happier, but it can help get things off your chest, and make you feel a little lighter at least

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Just now, Himeaimichu said:

I experience the same situation, and, it's honesty hard. I mostly keep myself occupied with music, and my special interests. Talking with friends about it may not make you happier, but it can help get things off your chest, and make you feel a little lighter at least

That's something I cannot do unless I meet you in person 

And You would think otherwise  :)

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I'm the sort of person who's gotta get right to the bottom of it all. If I feel sad, I have to proactively do what I can to address the source of the problem. That may just be because I tend to get angry before I get sad but whatever. Failing that, I talk to someone who can help me or, if there's really nothing anyone can do, I comfort myself with video games, rest and food (which is pretty much what I do in my spare time anyways).

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8 minutes ago, Gesu said:

I'm the sort of person who's gotta get right to the bottom of it all. If I feel sad, I have to proactively do what I can to address the source of the problem. That may just be because I tend to get angry before I get sad but whatever. Failing that, I talk to someone who can help me or, if there's really nothing anyone can do, I comfort myself with video games, rest and food (which is pretty much what I do in my spare time anyways).

You can always talk with me..

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When I was a kid I was bullied a lot. During 5th and 6th grade I would eat to drown the pain and that caused me to become a fatty fat-ass. Seriously, as an adult I'm only ~10-20 pounds heavier than I was when I was 11. I've shed a good portion of it off, and I'm losing weight right now (down 10 pounds!) but the leftover weight is almost like a scar from those times. I learned from my mistakes when I was taken out of that environment, so I haven't abused food like that since then.

 

Listening to music has been my main way of dealing with any emotional pain I'm going through ever since. A lot of VK songs really helped me through my mid teen years when I felt the crushing emptiness threatening to swallow me whole again. Some songs had lyrics that helped me feel better, one that I treasure deeply is deadman's "Follow the night light" which I loved enough to try translating it. I was pleased to learn that it has a message of holding out despite whatever madness you're going through. It felt like a message to me, at that time. I made sure to try to lose myself into my activities as to not bring in my negative emotions into things and hinder me. Also friends. Whether in the physical realm or online, having people I could trust and connect with made me feel so much better.

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On 6/9/2020 at 8:50 PM, Total Saikou said:

When I was a kid I was bullied a lot. During 5th and 6th grade I would eat to drown the pain and that caused me to become a fatty fat-ass. Seriously, as an adult I'm only ~10-20 pounds heavier than I was when I was 11. I've shed a good portion of it off, and I'm losing weight right now (down 10 pounds!) but the leftover weight is almost like a scar from those times. I learned from my mistakes when I was taken out of that environment, so I haven't abused food like that since then.

 

Listening to music has been my main way of dealing with any emotional pain I'm going through ever since. A lot of VK songs really helped me through my mid teen years when I felt the crushing emptiness threatening to swallow me whole again. Some songs had lyrics that helped me feel better, one that I treasure deeply is deadman's "Follow the night light" which I loved enough to try translating it. I was pleased to learn that it has a message of holding out despite whatever madness you're going through. It felt like a message to me, at that time. I made sure to try to lose myself into my activities as to not bring in my negative emotions into things and hinder me. Also friends. Whether in the physical realm or online, having people I could trust and connect with made me feel so much better.

Wish that I was back in high school 

Where everything's easy

No cares just childhood teasing 

But now everything gets depressing 

Relax everything's stressing

 

 

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I like to listen to music, try to draw or cry a lot, altough i hate crying infront of anyone so i usually try to be alone. 

The only person i really open all my heart to is my mom, but sometimes i am afraig to push too much on to her shoulders, so i keep things for myself. 

Also about talking to people, i am a person who is always afraid of annoying someone, or ending up being missunderstood.

 

 

On 6/9/2020 at 7:50 PM, Total Saikou said:

When I was a kid I was bullied a lot.

  I am so sorry for you. I went trough 1 or 2 years of bullying, by girls that had been my best friends before. It was awful. 

 

On 6/9/2020 at 4:40 PM, Gesu said:

That may just be because I tend to get angry before I get sad but whatever.

i feel you. being angry and sad often goes hand in hand for me. 

 

 

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23 hours ago, KrumpingChihuahua said:

I like to listen to music, try to draw or cry a lot, altough i hate crying infront of anyone so i usually try to be alone. 

The only person i really open all my heart to is my mom, but sometimes i am afraig to push too much on to her shoulders, so i keep things for myself. 

Also about talking to people, i am a person who is always afraid of annoying someone, or ending up being missunderstood.

 

 

  I am so sorry for you. I went trough 1 or 2 years of bullying, by girls that had been my best friends before. It was awful. 

 

i feel you. being angry and sad often goes hand in hand for me. 

 

 

I'll let you in on a secret 

I make a total of 13 sentences a day and because I don't talk

my parents institusialed me the psychiatrists performed hypnosis and psychosis to figure out what was wrong with me 

They went as far to tail me whenever I left home and they found out I've been using some drugs they thought I was very depressed because I never had a real friend when I gave away the doctors my parents still forced me to therapy sessions 

Truth be told I've never used their money 

I never used drugs 

I don't know why I let them figure out but  I felt nothing 

I didn't even bother telling the truth even if it confirmed my innocence 

I can't hold on anymore I kept it so long I fear one day I will let it all go 

Its just too much to take in the emptiness I can't find I can't think

that was 9 years ago now I'm 25 every day I build it up and break it down and so on again I hardly ever think about my family they hardly ever mattered nothing matters anymore

 

 

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Insterestingly enough I'm in the "more likely to be hella angry than sad" crowd, and when I am hella angry I often listen to music and it helps but when I am sad I feel that I just want to be quiet and at peace and sleep loads. I have a history of genetically inherited severe anxiety and fighting depression alone so I'm often HAPPY-GO-LUCKY  or just too angry and trying to change things unless everything Really Sucks Irremediably, so I almost didn't remember what I used to do when I am sad (which I only did because someone dear to me passed away recently so I've been feeling this crushing emptiness I haven't felt in a while again.)

 

But I have to agree that gratitude goes a long way. I know this sounds assholey and sometimes there isn't much to be grateful for, but putting yourself down often only makes you, well ... worse - while if you're able to look at things in a more positive light you are (chemically/neurologically even) more likely to find creative solutions for your actual problems instead of watching them pile up. Of course, way easier said than done, but I find that it does work

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Man this is such a deep topic with a complicated and non-straight forward answer as everyone will cope differently. But I guess from my experience the only way to pick yourself back up if things are that bad is to go for a bit of a change of lifestyle. Like make big changes, not saying dress differently or change your music taste but more like, think about your job/studies, the area you live in, your social activities, the people you hang out with etc.... are all these things satisfying for you? Do you need a change of scenery? Or even just an adventure somewhere completely new, meet some new people etc?? Even if just on a vacation or whatever. I guess basically it's a case of, if what you're doing isn't making you any happier you need to switch things up until you do feel better. Like I wont go into my own situation too deep as that would take forever but one example I have is quitting drinking made me feel a lot better, not getting into the same dumb situations, not hanging out with people who weren't healthy for me to be around and mainly that not drinking just made me feel a lot healthier in general, not feeling so damn tired all the time and never going to miss those hangovers. So that was one thing I changed that showed clear positive improvements. :) So figure out what works for you and go with it, isn't an easy road but determination can take you there!

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Well, for me there's one song that makes me cheerful again whenever I feel sad and that's this one:

 

Check the lyrics too (see spoiler), it's quite motivating. :)  Anyways, I usually listen to oshare kei whenever I need to genki up my spirit :D 

Spoiler

Oh~ oh~ Get fired up!
DARUMAROMAN!

I met the dream I’ve had since I was little
I’ve been looked down on too, but
Because I tried doing this and that
I’m here now

It’s alright if I only got a little praise
It’s not like there’s only black and white
Because I tried doing this and that
I’m here now

I can’t care about insignificant things!
Come on! Put some spirit in it 1・2・3・4!
Gather up your might in your stomach and scream
SO! LET’S GO! SELF!

Dream☆We worked hard toward ours!
Don’t accept just falling
No matter how many times, get back up That’s where your dream it
Believe★I worked hard to support myself!
You’ll become as strong as the times you fell
Rambunctious hearts We’re infinite

You’ll meet your dream DARUMAROMAN!

Little flecks of stardust gather
And become the long tail of a comet
My dream rides along with it as it falls
Isn’t it about time?

Whether a child Or an adult
Well! It doesn’t matter 1・2・3・4!
This feeling can’t be swayed
Come on! COME ON MINNNNNAAAAA!

Dream☆Catch yours too!
Don’t accept just moping
You’ve come this far Don’t let your smile fade away
Please★Catch it this time for sure!
It feels like something is going to happen
A premonition The coming of the century
Here it is1 DARUMAROMAN!

You’ll become weak You’ll cry
Ah… there are times like that too 1・2・3・4!
Someday your eyes will open
This is our romanticism2

Our dream☆We worked hard toward it!
Don’t accept just falling down
No matter how many times, get back up That’s where your dream it

Let’s fire that daruma up bright red
That’s right, let’s fire that daruma up bright red
Even if you fall, it doesn’t hurt
Even if something happened, try to get back up

Get fired up! DARUMAROMAN!

 

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A year ago, heck maybe even a few months ago, I might've said something edgy like "listening to sad music", but nah I'm doing better now (trying to anyway). I try to focus on things that make me happy and surround myself with things that make me happy. It can be anything, no matter how silly other people may think it is. And it really might sound silly because right now I'm addicted to plushies and cute/pretty things that brighten up my day. I want to surround myself in them, and I also want to try planting flowers in my apartment/patio when it gets warmer. I lived in my parent's basement for about a year and half before moving into my current apartment. The ceiling was warping, there were mice inside the walls, half the room was storage for my family, and seeing a bug (sometimes dead) was a common occurrence. I'm happy I got out of there. I mean, I've had other things in the past that f'ed me up, but that living experience was rather awful (honestly, living at my parent's was always awful). Ofc, I will still cry sometimes depending on what I'm sad about, but right now buying things for my new apartment and building a comfy living space makes me really happy. 😊

 

Also, cutting toxic and abusive people out of your life is really important, if you can. They will drain you and deteriorate your health horribly, especially when you're at your low. If you cannot cut them off, set your boundaries and distance yourself from them as much as you can. Hold on to those who care about you and who will support you in everything you do because you can only do so much on your own. Some people might think they can take care of themselves on their own, but the truth is, sometimes we all need a little help and support from others and that's okay! If you don't have anyone, you will find them someday! I don't know if I consider anyone IRL as someone like that, one of them lives faraway, and I have another friend in town but I think I made it uncomfortable for her several times when I was really down and broken, and I feel bad about that........but as I said before, I'm trying to do better. I do love all of my online friends tho and am happy to have them! ❤️ Please take good care of yourself!

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